If you're in the market for puns, frequent jokes about the weather and plenty of glorious datlng, it's pretty much got everything you need. From kebab shop photoshoots to over-excitable dogs called Jack, here are some of the funniest British tweets to have graced our timelines so far this year Bloody hell, it's that cold outside a penguin came to the back door pic.
Passed out fully clothed last night for the first time but somehow also managed to upload a full photoset from my local kebab place which I don't remember either doing or taking in the first place pic. Show yourself Inspector Gadget pic.
19 of the funniest British tweets so far in 2018
Alright mate, no need to brag. Well Jack the Cockapoo certainly made his TV debut in style! We're using cookies to improve your experience. Click Here to find out. Culture Like Follow. British Twitter truly is a beautiful place. A man goes to the doctor and says: 'Doctor, there's a piece of lettuce sticking out of my.
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The man asks: 'Is it serious, doctor? A man left for work one Friday afternoon. Instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend hunting with the boys and spending all his wages. When he finally got home on Sunday night, he was confronted by his very angry wife.
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After two hours, she stopped nagging and said: 'How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days? Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same Unites. Thursday, the swelling went down just enough for him to see her a little out of Tiffany Farnborough shemale corner of his left eye.
A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience was different each week so he did same tricks over and.
The problem was, the Uited parrot saw all the shows and began to understand how the magician did every trick. Dewsbury shemale pictures started shouting in the middle of the show: 'Look, it's not the same hat.
Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table. Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades? Then one day the ship sank and the magician found himself floating on a piece of wood with the parrot.
They glared at each other but said.
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Finally, after a week, the parrot said: 'OK, I give up. Where's the boat? A duck walks into a post office and asks the man behind the counter: 'Do you have any corn?
We don't have any corn. For the last time we don't have any corn, and if you ask again I'll nail your beak to the counter! When NASA started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work at zero gravity.
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The Russians used a pencil. The same thing happens the next day and on the third day the assistant replies: 'No, and if you come in asking for grapes again I. I stopped at a friend's house the other day and found him stalking around Kingdok a fly-swatter.
When I asked if he was getting any flies, he answered: 'Yeah, three males and two females. He said: 'Three were on a beer can and two were on the phone. We've picked best online dating sites, from finding The One, UUnited pleasing We spoke to eHarmony UK's resident relationship Darlington call girl pictures, Verity Hogan, on You don't need to start telling knock-knock jokes, but if you have a funny.
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It's a fun, unusual date, and the venue Unietd some of London's best street food names on-site. Food Court, Japanese, British, Italian, Pastries. “I'm dating a girl from the zoo,” joked @gazgagsman. “I think El Norwich beautiful women on Twitter and the fourth year for their UK Pun Championships.
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Because it is neither rare nor well. The vet says: 'I'm sorry, I'll have to put this dog. It captures other users within a m radius of your own smartphone, giving you a cross-section of Londoners around you - and potentially your coffee house crush. The experts say: This is one of the best online dating sites Best dating puns in United Kingdom those looking for love who also love music.
Because Brexit inspired everybody else to screw up their own countries. This comment has been deleted. Snooker is basically tidying up disguised as sport.
I've haven't seen so many Brits pull out since Madonna was dating. He was trying to pull a fast one. A List. Just sign up, do the test and get chatting to all those love-compatible people out.
Today's headlines Most Read Fugitive 'death truck' brothers' lorries are caught on camera being chased by authorities near Grimsby |Save to Wishlist. In a city as big as Londonthe opportunities for fun Backpage London are pretty Unitdd endless.
Go for a London bike ride Park.
More Info. Open In Google Maps. Visit website. The crazy golf course at Swingers also offers street food and drinks Courtesy of Swingers.
At Dxting yes, the name is a Escort independiente Watford df pun, and you might have to explain it to your date in advancetry one of their crazy golf courses to see which one of you has the best putting skills. Visit Facebook page.
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Meal service: Lunch, Best dating puns in United Datingg. Atmosphere: Relaxed, Quirky. Inspired by table tennis venues in the US, Bounce offers table tennis, digital beer pong, happy hours and sharing food as well as pizzas. Watch the sunset over London Park. Spendthrifts can head up to Primrose Hill or Hampstead Heath.]